Somewhere around the middle of every season, roles shift. A coach makes a change, a rotation gets adjusted, someone’s carrying a different job than the one they started the year with. For a player, that kind of change can feel bigger than it is — and how you handle it as a parent has a lot to do with whether they come through it stronger or just come through it discouraged.
Resist the urge to relitigate the decision
Your instinct might be to call the coach, or to build a case at the dinner table for why the change was wrong. Almost none of that helps your player, and most of it teaches them that the answer to a hard moment is to look for someone else to blame instead of adjusting. Save your questions for the right conversation with the coach directly, and keep the conversation at home focused on your player.
Ask how they want to handle it before you tell them how to feel
Every player processes a role change differently — some want to talk it through immediately, some need a day before they’re ready. Rather than deciding for them how upset they should be, ask what they’re thinking and let them lead. Your job is to be steady while they work through it, not to hand them a script.
Point them back to what they can control
A role change is often outside a player’s control in the moment. Their response to it never is. The players who handle these stretches best are the ones who keep showing up to every rep, every meeting, every walkthrough at full effort regardless of what role they’re in that week — because that’s the version of them that earns the next opportunity, whenever it comes.
Let this be a real thing without making it the only thing
It’s fine for your player to be frustrated. Don’t rush past that to get to the lesson. But also don’t let one role change become the entire emotional weather of your household for the rest of the season. Give it room, then move forward together.
If your player is working through something like this right now, How to Deal With Adversity On and Off the Field — Book AR-01 in the Mental Game Library — was built for exactly this kind of stretch, when a player’s confidence takes a real hit and needs a way back.
— Coach Fern